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Wednesday, September 29, 2010 11:07 pm
rant listen, ♥  With you in mind. Jesus said: "My child, I will not leave you orphans." Been such a long time since I last grabbed hold of my Bible and it feels good having it by my side now. I miss flipping the pages here and there despite knowing how thin each page is. But it makes me feel good. I love seeing how the ink is slowly fading away because of the countless times I have flipped back and forth that very page and it makes me happy because I remember the particular quote. Feels so good to be close to God, yet I feel the distance between us. Nevertheless, I know he's always there and that's all that matters. (: School has been a shit hole and home is not getting any better. I feel myself distant from the rest and no longer like before. This sucks, maybe I should try to spend more time at home. MAYBE, just maybe. Then again, NO. I'll rather stay out into the wee hours of the morning than to come back to this place called home where I find no particular sense of belonging because of the on going - what it seems to be, internal conflict. Such dramatic fascinations that I cannot conquer with. Seriously, I don't want to care anymore. I feel like we're drifting away from each other slowly and I hate that this is happening. What happen to the bond that we use to share last year? What happened to the random text day in and out, and the weird, random conversations that we use to share? What happened to all the times we spent together? I don't get it. You've like, changed so much. I don't even know which is the real you and whether I was friend with your lost soul or you've just ... Changed! I'm tired from the lack of sleep. I'm gusty, bitchy and critical. I hate myself when I throw a bitch fit for no apparent reason. I wish I made a better friend, a better daughter, a better someone. But no, it's just this disgusting personality that tries to get in the way, just so that I would get by. Pathetic life, I think my dogs lead better lives than me doing nothing. I hate how whiny I get when I'm feeling annoyed but that's just me and I cannot change this bad habit. What do you want from me? You cannot expect me to always follow what you say and heed your advice cause sometimes they're a whole lot of bull and listening would only make me feel dumber when I decide to take action. I don't understand what you're driving half the time and seriously, I'm sick of everything. If you can spare me the nagging and the damn sarcasm which I believe I can beat you hands down, I believe that I would be a little more willing to stay. Even if it's just for awhile. Fudge, I'm damn tired. I want to sleep but I have so much work on hand. Where's the freaking pause button when you need it? I guess it got flushed down the toilet bowl as usual. When shit happens, it's never there to help or assure you that things are fine. Whatever, time to get back to work. Life's such a whore. Once upon a time. MARTHA!
Tuesday, September 28, 2010 10:08 pm
/: listen, ♥  It only takes a spark, to get a fire going. The new timetable will suck my brain cells dry. |: I've got a new book to read - The Abduction. I hate being home for so many reasons, I wish I was nicer. /: I need to think think think, of so many things. My brain cells are slowly depleting and dying off. My brain is not functioning now. |: Die die die, need Redbull tomorrow morning. Shall wake up early to think again. We'll make it through forever. MARTHA!
Monday, September 27, 2010 10:00 am
blop listen, ♥When you love someone, you'll give them your all. It's funny how people never really treasure what they have until they are being threatened or when they're gone. Voda! Good luck for your paper tonight! :D Love you! (: For you a thousand times over!
Sunday, September 26, 2010 11:55 pm
stfu listen, ♥Maybe if you could shut up and keep your damn comments to yourself, I would treat you better. But no, you cannot stop making a scene once you're freaking home and seriously, it's annoying me more than before not because I have someone but because you're driving everyone insane. Trust me when I say you need to stuf.
Saturday, September 18, 2010 1:04 am
listen, ♥When my world threatens to crumble and fall apart, I know that I can always count on you.
Thursday, September 16, 2010 6:08 pm
baby listen, ♥  I PROMISE TO STAY TRUE TO YOU AND BE WITH YOU FOREVER AND EVER MORE. xoxo, MARTHA!
Wednesday, September 15, 2010 6:14 am
movingon listen, ♥  I don't wanna miss a thing. And so I've finally grown up. I'm not going to hold on anymore, you're not worth the pain I'm going through and finally, I found someone way better than you. I always had someone better than you but I thought that one day you'll return to become the person you use to be. But no, time and again you disappoint me and you do all sorts of stupid things to make me feel sad and down. Beast, you deserve nothing good in life, you deserve a painful death and you deserve to die a million times over and your body ripped apart. Start digging your own grave cause when your stupid girlfriend decides to dump you, you'll realize how stupid you actually were. Good luck dude, you can kiss Marcus and Snoopy's ass. Yes J, this one's for you. There's a limit to everyone's patience. MARTHA!
Tuesday, September 14, 2010 5:08 am
call listen, ♥Thank you for waking me up and for staying on the phone, knowing that I would fall asleep once again. You know I love you. (: Today's a new day and I hope it'll be better than the rest. |: Exams, exams, exams. So sick and tired of them.
Monday, September 13, 2010 8:00 pm
past listen, ♥Everyone has a past - something they never want to mention or reveal to anyone. Sometimes people live in the shadows of their past for various reason. So who are we to comment on such an attribute when it is not us who are in their shoes. I admit defeat, hands down.
12:10 am
baby listen, ♥With each new day, I realise how much I cannot do without you. Sometimes, I wonder what I would be without you. And now you know, you mean the world to me. I smile to know you'll always be there.
Friday, September 10, 2010 11:26 am
myboo listen, ♥There's always that one person that will always have your heart, You never see it coming cause you're blinded from the start. Know that you're that one for me, It's clear for everyone to see. Oh baby~! :D
10:46 am
): listen, ♥Never lose grip no matter how much you feel like giving up, I'll always be there to take you through forever. If one day you decide to give up, take me along with you. Don't leave me in this cold and heartless world alone to bleed myself dry. My world crumbled once, I don't need it to die off another time to know that I'm alive and can never live the way I want to. You mean that much to me. You're almost like my world and I need you to keep myself alive. Will that make you stay and never leave me?
Thursday, September 09, 2010 11:57 pm
random listen, ♥Baby will you tell me why, There is sadness in your eyes. I don't want to say goodbye, to you! Love is a big illusion, that I try to forget. There is nothing left in my head.
2:12 pm
bestf listen, ♥HAPPY BIRTHDAY BESTF! YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU, EVEN MORE THAN WORDS CAN SAY AND THAT YOU'RE MY EVERYTHING. When it hurt so much, sometimes not having you there. Love always, MARTHA!
Wednesday, September 08, 2010 12:35 pm
boo listen, ♥Boo to waking up early and not getting good grades. |: History is so boring, I can roll on the floor and die soon. Tuition once again. /: Dead, tired zombie.
Monday, September 06, 2010 11:46 pm
gahhhh listen, ♥Really really burnt out from studying, it's like all my energy is being drained from what use to be a simple activity that I don't even have to indulge in to score. It's times like this I miss you Bestf! 3 more days!
3:30 pm
cranky listen, ♥Thanks for getting me through a rough night and I'm sorry for all the vulgarities that I've said to you because I was angry at annoyed. Maybe I should learn how to be less critical of my family and to treat them better because they deserve it in many ways. Although they don't seem to be able to understand me or connect with me for whatever reasons - maybe I'm just not trying hard enough, I know somehow they'll love me. Forget the part about being there for me cause whenever I feel like dying, no one's there to show me they care. Whatever. The scars of the past will only eat me some day.
Sunday, September 05, 2010 11:08 pm
hateyou! listen, ♥FUCK YOU JAMES JEREMIAH SOH! I HATE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH FOR SCREWING MY SUNDAYS WEEK AFTER WEEK. GET OFF MY BACK AND JUST FUCK OFF FROM MY LIFE PLEASE. HATE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH. I'M GOD DAMN SERIOUS. GO AND DIE, GO AND DIE, GO AND DIE!
Thursday, September 02, 2010 10:46 pm
thereason listen, ♥I'm not a perfect person, there's many things I wish I didn't do. But I continue learning, I never meant to do those things to you. And so I have to say before I go; Baby I just want you to know, I found the reason for me. To change who I use to be, the reason to start over a new. And the reason is you.
Wednesday, September 01, 2010 6:32 pm
tired listen, ♥My fingers hurt from writing 10 Biology essays. /: Boo to the unproportional fingers but yay to being productive. (: I'm still smiling after 8 hours cause I've been so productive. (: Written Report done, studied for GP but will continue again later and Biology! (: Gonna do Literature tonight and then head to bed. Love today cause I've been so on task! :D
2:14 pm
wheeeeeeeee listen, ♥Am so proud of myself because I've been very much on task and everything that I've planned to do today is going on smoothly. Need to keep pushing myself so that I can do better. I will survive, I know I can do this. Chocolates, snacks and green tea are my companions for today. (: |
♥  MARTHA KATHLEEN CLARE SOH RUILING! Bestf! ♥ Fareen Yeo ♥ Partner-in-Crime ♥ February ♥ Jung Yonghwa 정용화 ♥ CNBLUE! 씨엔블루 ♥ Tiffany Hwang 티파니 ♥ Reminisce,
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Applause, |
| Everything you want, is on the other side of fear. | |